Apathy, the enemey within?!

So, my 1st disabled student conference happened and as I ride back on the train i have been mulling over my experience and a resultant fallout.

It seemed quite topical that it fell on the Budget day because a conference full of activists certainly had more opinions on the budget from an informed background than many of the people I run into day to day. My own personal Statler and Waldorf nee Joe and George taught me stuff despite barely being over my age when combined.

Many people who entered ballots sold themselves with various aspects of Cameron hate and its hard to see why Joe Public doesn't feel the same way, why are they so apathetic to someone earning a million pounds a year gaining £50,000.

Sadly the apathy wasn't just related to this though.

Like on previous events I have attended even disabled activists are just as apathetic about important things.

2 events at the conference bought this home and both are possibly only in my attention because of my Autism. Within the disabled student community at the moment is a well know activist. He's a smart guy and has in his time in various roles done many good things but they've also been tinged with incidences that have only soured opinion on him in many quarters. During the various motions to which he shows an active interest it became apparent that some members of the NUS and the community in general have troubles not necessarily dealing with someone who wont self classify but is clearly on the autistic spectrum to those who openly are. Repetitious corrections for talking speed, repetitious tutting when he was involved in points of order could clearly be seen including from people who have Aspergers.

I feel almost lucky that in this new period of my life where I know what I have to deal with that I can communicate how my disorders not only make my life hard but how I have to approach issues and actions.

More than my disappointment at people for not understanding someone with such severe issues because he is lucid and intelligent, is the apathy to his conditions and feelings. People with Autism hurt too. I cannot in all confidence say that I have treated them perfectly in the time that I have known them but to be frank I am now quite proud at the steps I have taken to not only ensure that the our national student organisation is aware of what people simply cannot do but also the activist himself at least gets some feedback of what isn't socially acceptable and therefore divisive to his needs.

Without devils advocate there is no discussion in an item, there is only a delay to a decision at best.

Sadly even people within the disabled community seem so unaware of the need for absorbing difference that they gladly castigate someone who is bringing them strength.

The 2nd issue that bought to light the absolute apathy of fellow activists issues came in a workshop.

A quiet unassuming rep sat next to me got caught up in a matter of time keeping that coincided with a moment of personal anguish and fled the workshop. Now while I cannot condone the worry about a lapse of a few minutes when most timetables are never met over the need of a member to talk, the biggest issue came for me thereafter.

I have some Aspergers and with that comes the penalty of sometimes being oblivious to others (or my) feelings. What worries me was that after deciding that 'someone' should at least follow the upset member, he relayed his personal issues to me. I am fortunate in that nowadays it is much harder to bully me than as a child, I'm bigger and badder. This make me believe that I would never be in the situation where in a shared house of students I would have shit smeared on my pillowcases and then pictures of spread on facebook. Why then should a more meek person have to put up with this behaviour. More importantly, as an Autistic guy who can either find it hard to understand emotional issues or who can suffer greatly with post traumatic stress in such circumstances, why why why was I the one to tell the member this was unacceptable behaviour and try to help him resolve it (including letting them cry on my shoulder). I should state now that writing this particular part is very emotional for me so I cannot imagine what they were going through. still, there was I being the one to comfort them.

I waited patiently for the news to filter out that this had happened and more sadly for the people in the workshop to ask if the member was ok.

When a member of your community flees from a workshop (on a national disability stage) in tears, why does no one care?

I am thankful daily that since I started university I have been surrounded by amazing people that are so supportive because even at events where you would expect huge support for situations like this, the feeling was sporadic and at times driven by people who should be the last in the queue to understand.

How can the disabled community move forwards and change society if people cannot find it in their hearts to ask after someone being treated very badly.

Mark D Graham 000586213

Bsc (Hons) Computer Science Year 3 - University of Greenwich

National Student Employee of the Year 2011
Campaigner of the Year - Student Union school Rep&Officer awards
AWP AccessAbility* Ambassador & Transition Disability Ambassador
Lead Aspire Ambassador
Student Union School Officer - Education & CMS Joint
Graduate of the Front Runner Leadership Project by Common Purpose